I Can Feel Their Asshole Energy

9/29/2025 –

I’m in a surrealist aircraft for quite a while before we finally lift off. When we do, we rip through the ceiling of a stadium and it makes no sense, which I note. The metallic canopy gives slight resistance before we phase through it and nope? None of this tracks.

You know what else doesn’t make sense? The fact that when we burst out of the stadium ceiling we’re now faced with a giant golf-course-green grass covered mountain with a flag with the old school Buccaneers logo on it. I find this very strange and as I contemplate it my brother (who isn’t by brother) declares that we’re going to have to gain some altitude to clear this Buccaneer-mountain. As we ascend to do just that, the dream cuts out.

After this, just a vision of two women. They are assholes. Gigantic assholes. I can feel their asshole energy emanating from them but not much else comes through.

9/30/2025 –

In this dream, myself and some of my friends are heading to a vacation property that’s apparently been in our family for years and yet, I also haven’t been there for years. I’m not entirely sure why. I gets even more confusing when we get there and I head out back. Yeah, this shit is amazing.

There’s an incredibly strange feeling of nostalgia as I’m looking up at the sky. So odd too because you can tell it’s supposed to be a retreat from the city but what’s so excellent is all the weird ass architecture floating through the hills and somehow above me. Kind of rustic but also glowing. I suppose it’s my kind of small town and that seems to be the appeal. All of it gives me a peaceful/serene feeling inside but again? Why the hell haven’t I been here for so long? As I look back on the bizarro astral urban wilderness around me, I have zero clue.

We all feel so relaxed until my dad and a bunch of my uncles show up. What the fuck? The understanding was that we were supposed to be here this week? Why are they here? They knew we were going to be here. Well, I guess we have to find something else to do at the last minute. No idea what we’re even going to be able to come up with. I’m waiting in the house for my dad to come back in so I can yell at him. I’m not entirely sure if I’m going to do this and it doesn’t matter as the dream ends before it would have maybe happened.

In the next dream I’m at a long outdoor party in a large grassy park space on a super sunny spring or summer day. We all seem to be enjoying ourselves but when it comes time to eat, things get a little weird. Someone’s barbecued what looks like sliced pork in the large red brick cooking area but there’s nothing but meat and some messy rolls of bread to put it in. More to the point, there doesn’t seem to be enough to feed everyone. I feel like this is going to be pretty problematic so I only take one small crude sandwich that I know isn’t actually going to make me full entirely. I head back to my bench to eat it, legitimately confused by the sitch. Seems like we could have planned better.

In a final dream, I’m going to give my dogs some chocolate. Now, I know that it isn’t good for them, but they can have a little bit every now and again. Also, they are both pug puppies, one fawn and one black. I was going to give them a much larger portion but decide on just one square. They can handle this much, right? Sure, I do this on rare occasions and I usually give them more. I put one square of what looks like a Hershey’s bar in each of their mouths, watching it instantly melt as I do.    

10/1/2025 –

In the first dream a lot of us are boarding a commercial jet and this kid who I’d say is about 12 or so with floppy black hair wants to be the pilot. None of us are super onboard with this idea and yet I have more faith in him than any of the other passengers do. I’m not sure why. It feels like someone told me he could fly at some point and I believed them.

I’m wondering if I ever fact checked that though, because it’s a bumpy ride. Not even bumpy entirely, it’s more like there are these cyclones of dark energy swirling outside as we head downward at a comfortable angle. He does seem to be going continually down. I’m wondering why. Everyone else thinks we’re doomed but again, I for some reason have confidence in the kid’s ability to competently fly a plane. Someone told me he could. I keep telling the other passengers to calm down. He’s got it.

When we finally arrive I’m confused and yet not disappointed. It’s Florida. I can see the palm trees in the distance and we’re in the middle of the swamp.

“Ahhh, that swamp life.”

I say loudly, as if I know anything about the swamp life. Does it even look like the actual swamplands in Florida? Probably more surreal. Dripping with a weird wet energy. Even though the swamp would be maybe the last place I’d want to visit, I have to give the kid credit. It’s something I’ve never experienced really, outside of a few days on a vacation thirty years ago.

Anyway, I’m with this thicc Pakistani woman. There’s a small house near what looks like some sort of water dredging farm. We walk over and when we get near she pulls up her dress, revealing the most perfectly robust brown ass imaginable. Most excellent but completely unexpected. I am stunned. I was not involved with her in this scenario so I’m entirely confused as why she’s suddenly getting naked. I begin to bring it up but she starts loudly farting at me instead. Repeatedly. There was nothing sexual about it at all, she just wanted to bare ass fart in the swamp wind. I respect that.

In the following dream, it’s the strange in-depth scenario where I’m hanging out with this woman with shoulder length black straight hair with grey streaks. I’d say she maybe looked a bit like Julia Louis Dreyfus if JLD was much more of an intellectual arty urban hippie type. She’s got charisma for days and that’s why I’m into her. Great suit jacket with t-shirt underneath and dangly silver sculpture necklace game. But like, is she even into me? I’m wondering this because I think she might be out of my league but also it feels like maybe we’re both married. Whatever the case, it goes on for a while and we’re in this art damaged room where we’re literally going in circles as we time jump around.

It's very much the will they, won’t they old television thing. I’m sure it’s a new television thing too. Anyway, eventually the answer seems to be “they will”, but it’s still awkward. She finally leaves the weird circular art room. I’m supposed to follow but I’m still kind of trepidatious about the whole entanglement.

Next a third dream where I’m supposed to go get in touch with my old neighbor. I take a long trek to his house and when I get there he’s not even around. And whereas, most people would leave I instead wander around his house. The door was open. I genuinely feel a bit creepy about this, I must confess. In fact, the only thing I remember from the rest of this dream sequence is sitting at home also thinking about how odd it was that I stole his car (which was a gold retro El Camino I might point out). Yeah, stealing his car because he wasn’t home. Maybe a bit over the line. I’m pretty sure he’d be cool with it though. Pretty sure.

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