Backwater Alien Dialects

12/24/2023 –

First I’m sleeping in the same bed as my brother and he starts puking his guts out. I get up shocked that he’s as sick as he is and realize I’m in an odd sci fi version of my townhouse. He’s upchucked all over the sheets but I realize I can probably just sleep for the rest of the night in multiple other parts of the house, which are all fictional and which I also seem to be creating with my unconscious imagination. I look at my watch and it’s 5:30am on the astral plane.

Now I find myself in this scenario that involves this large wooden A frame style house. Lots of plot is lost to the ether here but I do remember the marmot. There’s this marmot that lives in the huge wooden A frame home and at first I’m kind of suspicious of him. Then as time goes on, I come to realize that he’s a cool ass marmot and I’ve got nothing to worry about from the likes of this marmot bro. The next thing I know I’m seducing this kind of nerdy looking woman on the second floor of the left hand side of this large wooden cottage. We eventually go downstairs and head back into another bedroom up the stairs on the right hand side. It’s like there are 2 different sections to this massive dream logic construction that share the same lobby.

We’re lying in bed when it occurs to me that I’m married because you know, this is what always happens. I bring this up to the bookish woman and she’s is well aware of this fact. She gives zero shits that I’m married and wants to have a fling with me anyway. Truth: I’m a little sketched out by this but I don’t know what to do. I genuinely think my wife’s going to find out even if the other woman’s going to keep her mouth shut and also, I’m not even entirely sure why I want to sleep with this woman in the first place. I’m not really that into her from a looks or personality standpoint.

I now go back downstairs and there are several more marmots in the house now. I know the one’s cool, but I’m still a tad sketchy on the others. This is eventually resolved by me developing some internal psychic self defense software that quickly allows me to differentiate between cool ass and sketchy ass marmots on the fly, which is obviously an indispensable piece of tech given my circumstances. The chill marmots show up with this pixelated green icon and the problem marmots show up with a warning error red. You never know which marmots you can trust after all.

Eventually I find myself in my wife and my new dream pad, another common theme. She’s cooking dinner and explains to me that we’re going to do happy hour tonight. I’m conflicted about this because I genuinely don’t like drinking on nights where I have to get up the next day due to my Hashimoto’s disease. I’m fairly whatever about it though. In fact, as I walk out of the kitchen, I remember the view out back that I never take advantage of. I go out the side yard and yep, there’s a white fence with a gate I can go through and a viewpoint where I can stare out at the sound with a backdrop of gloriously snowcapped mountains. I fade into a waking state marveling at the scenic view my unconscious has spontaneously created and thinking about how excellent it will be to sip on an adult beverage while casually staring at it later. Typical shit.

12/25/2023 –

I’m this discarnate cosmic entity and I’m scanning worlds. I get to the one I’m being forced to visit for my current mission and holy shit. I scan it to gauge its local linguistic parameters and I’m goddamn shocked. Normally the current dialect is marked by this circular icon and sometimes it’s bent to indicate the astral plane equivalent of a thick southern accent but this is fucked. I scan out a bit because I’m legit confused.

I mean, yeah, this world is way the hell out in the galactic middle of nowhere compared to other worlds, but they’ve legit created their own unique way of communicating that’s backwater as absolute shit. I’ve never seen anything like it. There are some deep Appalachia vibes going down and I can’t believe this is what I’m doing with my life.

Then I’m asked rhetorically:

“And what happens when a king is put in charge of a place like this?”

Answer:

“They turn into tyrants!”

Exactly. And that’s why I’m here. It feels like the last time they showed me this it was accompanied with an incoming plague.

For a good portion of the rest of the night I’m grafting together these plots and it feels like I’m attaching the silver tops of coat hangers to their corresponding golden bottoms, although I intuitively understand that this is a metaphor for pathways through life. This all feels like I’m playing the video game The Sims, which I’ve never played. I’ve watched a few people play it once or twice in college though soooo...

Then a dream portion of the message that I do actually remember. There’s this young woman who’s in the market for a car. This is not something she’s even really actively looking for, it’s just something she’s thinking about. Then out of nowhere this giant magic portal ad space opens up in the floor and this super duper charismatic younger very wholesome looking black woman in a pink sweater pops out. She then rips into this super over the top multi media barrage trying to sell the young woman on buying a Honda. There is so much glitz and pomp and circumstance that I’m immediately suspicious of the whole spectacle. I will say though that she closes with the pitch that pretty much anyone can afford a reliable used Honda for slightly less than 10k.  

This makes me even more suspicious honestly but I must confess that it’s a solid thing to close with. The young woman doesn’t seem convinced either but in the process of getting this pitch, a whole group of other peeps have gathered around the sorcerous advertising tech portal on the floor, most of whom weren’t even in the market for a car. Even more shocking? At least 4 of these people are pretty much all in, again, despite the fact that they weren’t even thinking about buying a new car.

Like me, there are at least 3 or 4 more of us standing around the circle complete mystified by the fact that these other people were somehow roped into this pitch that wasn’t even intended for them. This one dopey looking white dude is so sold it’s insane but what’s bananas is that he seems to just want to play video games. He’s asking if this car has video games in it and me and this other black guy with dreads are trying to talk him out of it:

“It might play games in the car but if you want video games, just buy a PS5 or an Xbox X.”

Ahhh neo-tech algorithm driven used car salesman style corporate marketing. The most backassward of backassward astral plane redneck dialectics. I have to get with the times. This truly is hell.

12/26/2023 –

This vision is presented in the form of the show The Bear. There is a new invisible force of order in the kitchen, seemingly tech related but again, in this situation invisible. You can feel it’s presence in the upper corner of the room but you can’t really see it. The point is that the employees of the restaurant do not like this new protocol, whatever it is.

Next I’m once again in school, except this is an entirely white walled school as opposed to the typical wood paneled classic Invisible College look. A group of us get out of class and are supposed to head to another one, but we get in the elevator and it takes us up to one of the top floors instead. The class we need to hit is several floors below and I actually have to check with the other people like:

“Y’all saw that too, right? The elevator took us to the wrong floor. We pushed the right button and it just took us to the wrong floor.”

We’re all on the same page and all witnessed the same shit. This did in fact happen. In fact, as we wander around this mystery upper floor, we’re realizing we can’t even find the elevator that took us here. This goes on for a bit before we finally find this mystery hallway with another elevator that can in fact take us to the appropriate floor. As we’re about to board this elevator I realize I did in fact do the homework I was supposed to do for this class and it’s in the bookbag I have slung over my left shoulder. That’s different. I’m also wondering how I’m supposed to be at work and school at the same time because of course. I have some variation of this on pretty much every night before I have to go back to work.

Buy books, support oneiromancy!

Also, while you're here, do you like psychedelic industrial noise rock? Of course you do!