Always Working for the Freaks
- Thad McKraken
- 6 days ago
- 8 min read

8/18/2025 –
I’m living in this fancy almost sultan style tent with this woman who’s supposed to be my wife. We’re continually leaving the tent to engage in unknown adventures and at one point before we do, my wife thinks we should check on our child. She does and this involves tapping on this I’d say knee high black cask sitting on the ground. After a few taps, we’re sure the child is fine and we’re off again, engaging in some unknown new adventure.
Now we’re back after the fun. I want to head out on another one and once again my wife asks if we should check on our black cask child, except she says it in what I feel like is a very condescending way this time. I kind of snap at her.
“Look. It’s not like I hate children. I am not a person who hates kids! It’s just that I never wanted to have one.”
The second the words come out of my mouth I feel like shit. I did in fact have a kid, with this woman and here I am admitting that I never wanted one. I leave the dream with a palpable sense of unease.
In the next vision there’s this dark mist that forms itself into a sort of an adorable looking entity. Almost like a large black smoke capybara without legs. This oversized smoke rodent then hovers slowly for a while, leading an unidentified person along with it to a white bathtub. The person then lies down in the tub and the capybara hovers over it, looking at it face to face. After a while, the smoke entity floats away and I get the impression this is like a rebirth for the person beneath it. It just feels good.
Now I’m watching some sort of a superhero that looks a bit like the red Power Ranger with an appropriately colored red and white Juggernaut style helmet. This entity seems to travel through the mail. I can see it warping out of a metal mailbox on a city street, ready to roll and be super and whatnot.
A voice in my head says:
“Don’t drop our teacher again.”
Ok.
Next a man who seems like he’s being crushed beneath a wooden dresser. He has crushed looking splayed white gloved hands like an old timey comedy movie and is ranting frantically.
“The elves can see the humans!”
Is all I really catch but he’s going on and on about elves. Oh, the intrigue.
8/19/2025 –
There is this CD store that’s a 1 story older gray brick building that takes up an entire downtown block. It sort of looks like a much smaller version of the Pentagon in a way. So I’m seeing this thing and I think I might want to stop in and shop but I know it’s getting a bit late and it’s closing soon. There’s plenty of time left for me to get some shopping in though, right? Sure. I walk around to the service window and the non-descript looking woman attendant with brown hair and bangs opens it up to help me.
It’s like a coffee shop sitch honestly and she asks me about my beverage. I look down and I have this incredibly dirty looking see through cup with a little bit of water left that I’m sort of embarrassed by.
“I should probably drink that.”
I think to myself as I become increasingly confused as to what exactly is going on here. I thought I was buying CDs.
In the next scenario I’m at a party hosted by an old friend I haven’t seen in a very long time. We’re all just sort of chilling in gray loungers in his living room and I start talking about the animated Hulk movies I’ve been watching. As it turns out, he made an animated Hulk movie. Whaaat? What the fuck? You made an animated Hulk movie? Yep. Not only did he make an animated Hulk movie, he made the EXACT animated Hulk movie I was about to watch next. What are the odds?
Upon realizing this, he insists we go downstairs and watch the thing. Which one is it? The one with the arty looking orange and blue skies. That one. I have no idea why this makes sense here but for some reason, this Hulk movie is the one with the arty orange and blue skies. We both sit down and get ready to dig in but as we do I’m looking around thinking:
“We’re the only ones down here watching this thing. It’s this dude’s party. Isn’t it a bit weird to ditch all your guests to watch a movie?”
I’m thinking that yes, it is a bit weird.
Now a vision of a star quarterback from the past. He takes off his helmet and is bald with semi-long hair on the sides. He looks like he’s about 50.
“God people in the past aged quicker. Bro looks like he smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.”
In the next sitch I’m a giant and I’m lying down under these fantastically colorful sky bridges that just genuinely seem to be like colorful light bridges that are a part of this kaleidoscopic cartoon sci fi town. I start standing up but only get as far as sitting. My head is right by this light energy platform with lots of large TV screen like displays. This woman in an excellent almost faux fantasy brown leather fringe aerobics outfit with tied up tightly curled hair walks over to me. As she leans in for the kiss I wonder:
“Can I even kiss her with a mouth this big?”
In the final vision I remember, there’s an earth walking around in circles in space. Just our planet walking around in circles. As I’m watching this, I hear the phrase:
“The planet doesn’t have invisible legs!”
Enter my mind. Of course that’s what they’d have you believe.
8/20/2025 –
My brother and I are up on Capitol Hill and we want to go get drunk. I’m not entirely sure why but that’s the plan. So we head downtown and we find this choice parking spot close to the bar. It seems like I have an excellent boxy retro muscle car painted with excellent checkered designs so like, cool. Things are looking good.
We get to the slightly trendy spot and it’s not super crowded. Seems like the middle of the day so that’s no surprise. We grab a large wooden table by the back of the joint and get to the day drinking. Predictably, we suck down way more than we should. My brother keeps buying like well drinks and shots in addition to the initial beers I grabbed. Lord, I very much should not be drinking this much, particularly liquor. But we’re having fun and I don’t want it to end so I’m going to grab one more completely unnecessary beer.
“Beer.”
I say to him as I get up.
“So we can milk this a little longer.”
I head up to where the bartender is and it’s choice. He’s got these excellently crafted red and white checkered wooden displays. Most of it just looks like ads but they’re all ads with aesthetically pleasing typefaces and such. It is a bit strange though because with all the displays I can’t find the most basic and important information, which is? What IPA’s do you have on tap? It feels increasingly odd to me that I can’t decipher this information for myself but I somehow can’t. That fact that the multi-tiered displays keep morphing wildly probably has something to do with it.
Fuck it, I’m just going to ask.
The bartender’s this 40’s very bartender looking dude. Short brown hair, a bit grizzled looking. Big smile on his face. I feel stupid that I have to ask though but I do. His message is inexplicably garbled. He thinks the citrus one is the obvious choice but I can’t tell if there is in fact a choice. Again I feel too stupid to ask so I just go with the citrus one, even though it seems like it might be a tad more citrusy than I really want. Whatever.
When he starts pouring the beer there’s a problem though. The keg seems to start running out right in the middle of my glass (which seems larger than a pint). What the fuck, so the keg blew? Jesus, I’m going to have to wait forever. Was there another IPA? Another patron hands him her glass and he holds my half full glass next to her half full glass.
I stare at this for a minute before things go apeshit. Now I’m just wandering around some black hole zone having zero clue what the fuck is happening. Total amnesia and I’m aimlessly searching around for a while before some memories start to flood in. Wasn’t I drinking with my brother? Yeah, I think I was. The more this narrative forms in my mind, the more the blank space starts turning into what looks like a city. Yep, I am certain I was drinking with my brother. The city congeals around me. I even find our car but it’s now in a free parking lot. Still a great space. I gotta find my brother though, how long has he been waiting? Where is the fucking bar? As I walk on, my consciousness leaves the dream so that question is never answered.
In the next scenario I’m in a fancy gym on the higher floor of a skyscraper. At least that’s what it seems like. It’s like the place is closed or we’re renting it out for a private event or some shit. It’s just myself and like 5 other people. One of the dudes (and it seems like a dude) starts telling us about the first exercise, which is? One of us is supposed to go into this room that’s windows can be closed off with this thick black curtain so no one else can see. Then the rest of us ask that person questions through the black curtains for a set period.
I just volunteer like:
“Yeah, sure, I’m in.”
Even though this makes no sense. I mean, y’all already know who I am, what’s the point to the curtain? Who cares, off I am into the odd dark curtain room. Just like the drunken conversations with my brother, I only wish I remember what these questions were but I don’t and there were quite a few of them. At one point I do remember how one of the dudes keeps trying to ask me these questions by getting his mouth under the curtain but he doesn’t know that I can somehow see him doing this with a secret sense. Every time he tries, I’m onto him and move away well before gets his mouth under.
This is all going predictably odd until suddenly:
“What the fucking fuck?”
The lights are now on and there’s this buff almost 80’s looking buff dude with a red headband on next to me doing curls. Again, what in the absolute fuck? What happened? There is no more curtain on the windows and the place is packed. I run out of the room looking for answers and I track down 2 of the guys but? The dream ends. I get no answers. Not everything has to make sense Dr. Strange!
In this vision I’m standing on green grass in front of this huge governmental building. I can tell it’s like this universe’s version of the Capitol but it’s this stylish and modern white looking building. Long but only a couple stories at most. Anyway, all these surrealist superheroes are standing in front of the alternate reality Capitol building and I’m pointing a finger at them from afar wearing a slick black suit.
“I’m going to get that law passed for you!”
I’m telling them. Always working for the freaks.
In the next vision I’m looking at a man with long hair and a beard laying down on some stairs. He’s got an interesting outfit and very odd baggy pants. As mentioned, the pants look very odd to me. So odd that my perspective switches to another angle that’s now panning in. Oh, he’s got an extra hairy jumbo chinchilla hiding on top of those pants, right near his crotch. That’s what was making them so weird. Good to know.
I go down to pick up a black pug and he freaks out on me. Not too bad but more than he should. Seems to be getting better than the last time.
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